


Loneliness Made A Home in Me.

by candyland1341



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-02
Updated: 2013-07-02
Packaged: 2017-12-16 20:14:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/866161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/candyland1341/pseuds/candyland1341
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three nights ago had been the day his world had shattered.His big brother, the one he’d looked up to since the day of his creation, had stabbed him right in the heart. But someone had brought him back though he hadn’t wished to be resurrected. He was alone and there was no one to stay with him. That was his problem, that had always been his problem, he didn’t want to be alone. But now here he sat, with only his memories to fill up the emptiness that was slowly driving him into madness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Loneliness Made A Home in Me.

Gabriel’s eyes fluttered over the landscape laid out before him. The sky was painted with orange and pink as the world slowly laid itself to rest for the night. Suddenly his memories came flashing back, the taste of meadow and a sunset tumbling around in his head. He was back in a time and place many millenniums ago.

~

 “Gabriel!” Castiel's small figure stumbled as he chased after his older brother with his mop of brown hair sticking every which way. “Gabriel! Slow down!” His exasperation followed his movements as he tried to get his wings to work. Having only just learned to walk, it was a wonder his wings could even flutter fast enough to get him to hop higher than the average child. Gabriel chuckled, slowing his pace drastically so the toddler could catch up.A giggle erupted from Castiel’s tiny lungs while he reached out with his chubby hand to grip his big brothers robe. The giggle had a trinkling to it so pure it sent shivers of happiness down Gabriel’s spine. Small Castiel, still so unaffected by the fighting going on between his elder brother and their father. The Black winged angel was young and that was something Gabriel was thankful for. He dreaded the day when the child must choose a side in this war.

“Gabriel, I don’t want father to send Luci away,” Castiel’s voice was suddenly soft, years of wisdom behind his words, years he didn’t even have yet.  
“What are you talking about?” Gabriel spoke lightly and gently to his younger brother. “I heard him talking,” Castiel stated nonchalantly as he threw his body onto the soft grass rolling onto his back to stare up at the ocean sky, that matched his eyes. There was a twinkle in them as the grass shaped around the angel’s body. Gabriel sighed, slowly easing himself onto his back next to the angel full of wonder. He never ceased to be amazed at the way the grass tickled his neck and kissed at his ears.  
“Come on Cas, how many times have I told you not to eavesdrop on Dad and Michael?”  
“But Gabriel…” Cas’ voice had grown sad.“They spoke of me too, and this war... I just…. I wanted…”  
“Shhh” Gabriel silenced the angel gently rolling over onto his side to face his baby brothers cobalt eyes , which much to Gabriel’s dismay, had tears in them.  
“I don’t want them to fight anymore. I don’t want to be a part of…”  
“Gabriel! Castiel! My two favorite brothers!” The voice was raspy, love thick in it.  
“Luci!” Castiel’s voice flooded with excitement, his grace dancing about him. He jumped up and threw his small figure into the arms of Lucifer who seemed ecstatic to see them. But Gabriel could see the sad look in his brother’s eyes. They were empty and cold, the light that usually danced around in them suddenly and painfully absent. He smiled all the same and led Castiel back to Gabriel’s side sitting cross legged and staring into his brothers questioning eyes. Castiel’s giggles encased them while he chased the bees, unaware of the silent conversation going on between his brothers  
“When we are allowed to spend more time on earth, I just wanna watch the bees! Ohh! And I want a cat. Luci, could you convince father to let me get one?” Castiel’s bubbly voice floated out of his huge smile and over into Gabriel’s ears, who couldn’t help but laugh at the face Lucifer made as he looked over to the blue eyed ocean of happiness.  
“I promise I’ll ask him, Castiel. Now get over here and sit with me and you brother. I’m going to be going away for awhile, and I wanted to spend my last day with the two of you.” Lucifer ran his fingers through the grass feeling its smooth texture as each blade hugged around his fingers; he took a deep breath wanting to remember everything about this moment. The smell of the purple flowers that were dancing in the breeze that made the air taste of lavender and rotting leaves. He wanted to remember the sound of Castiel’s small laugh that waved over his face, caressing it into a smile as he grabbed onto Gabriel’s and his hands. Wanted to think back on this last day of freedom and remember Gabriel’s thin face looking at him like he was the best thing in the world. To remember the moment when he finally felt at home and happy, the last time he’d see his two favorite brothers for thousands of years. Remember this time, where he still had wings to rest snugly between his shoulder blades and wrap the angels beside him in the tightest hug he could muster, his silver feathers entwining with Gabriel’s gold ones and Cas’s black.. A small tear slipped out of Lucifer’s eye, and Gabriel wiped it away instantly.  
“Remember, my brothers,” Lucifer’s voice was quieter, a serious tone digging its way into every word. “I love you both, and I’ll be back one day soon, and we’ll pull pranks on Raphael and Uriel, showing them both once again that the three of us are unstoppable,” Lucifer smiled his head resting back on the grass next to his brothers and they all watched as the sky faded into a sherbet rainbow of orange and pink.

~

 Gabriel sat up straighter in his chair, wiping an escaped tear off his cheek. The day after that had been when Father and Michael had thrown Lucifer into Hell and locked the door for forever. He had never been the same after that, becoming short tempered and snapping at everyone. His irrational anger usually centered around Castiel because the blue eyed angel reminded him too much of the times the three of them had spent together.

After 100 years, Castiel had also changed drastically. Though for about the first fifty he’d tried his best to get Gabriel to laugh or at least smile, he never could. And pretty soon he lost his giggle and bright smile. Becoming hard, emotionless, just going through the motions of everyday. The more Gabriel pushed him away the harder he had gotten, and Gabriel hated himself for that. If only he’d tried harder to keep Castiel innocent… he wouldn’t have become one of their Father’s programmed soldiers in the war against their favorite brother… maybe he wouldn’t have lost his gentleness. Suddenly, Gabriel's mind was somewhere else again, a painful day full of loss that left a bitter taste of corruption on his tongue.

~

Though it wasn’t ever actually dark in heaven, it felt like it had been. All of Gabriel’s thoughts were on how to tell his brother he was leaving. The fighting had become too much for him to handle, even with Lucifer locked in the pits of Hell his presence was strong.

While Gabriel was saying his last goodbyes to everything in his small space of heaven, Castiel had come to see him. This was a rare occurrence these days. Castiel usually avoided him at all costs for fear of the lash out Gabriel could reap.  
“You’re leaving,” It wasn’t a question, but it received a whispered answer anyway.  
“Yes. I can’t stand it anymore Ca…”  
“Save it.” Castiel held up his hand to silence his brother. It was a soft statement, one of a man who had given up on trying to understand.He looked up into his brothers golden eyes. “I don’t want excuses Gabriel… Nor do I want you to leave... but...” His eyes had wandered down to the flower in his hand.  
“what is..”  
“It’s the thing that’s kept me going since that day..” Castiel’s voice was soft, sad. The purple flower causing the room to smell of lavender and rotten leaves.  
“Is that from...”  
“I want you to take it with you.”  
“Castiel, I can’t”  
“No, take it.” He placed the flower into his brother’s hand, his fingers trembling with a cold that was soul deep.  
“Castiel I...” Gabriel trailed off ruffling his brother’s hair; he didn’t know what to say, so he did what he did best, he disappeared.

~

Gabriel looked over at the vase of flowers on the counter, his eyes drawn to the purple one that still danced with some of Castiel’s grace. The thing that had kept it alive for so long. Gabriel took it with him everywhere. A reminder of his unattainable past, with two very changed and very lost brothers.

Three nights ago had been the day his world had shattered.His big brother, the one he’d looked up to since the day of his creation, had stabbed him right in the heart. But someone had brought him back though he hadn’t wished to be resurrected. He was alone and there was no one to stay with him. That was his problem, that had always been his problem, he didn’t want to be alone. But now here he sat, with only his memories to fill up the emptiness that was slowly driving him into madness.  
His thoughts kept going back to and replaying the scene of his brother stabbing him over and over again, pushing him into his loneliness.  
“Why the hell was I brought back?!” He screamed swiping his hands across the counter, knocking over and shattering everything except the vase. “I don’t need to be alive! No one –wants- me to be. I’m alone, my own brother….” He broke off into sobs falling to his knees on the soft red carpet, his face in his hands. Nobody wanted a broken angel, so why bring one back?  
“Theres no one here the cares that I’m here!”  
“I’ve never stopped caring,” came a raspy voice full of comfort. Gabriel’s heavy head rose slowly as he looked up, greeted by the sight of an angel he thought to have given up on him a long time ago  
“Castiel…?”  
“Hello brother.”  
“Why are you here?” Gabriel’s voice was broken, lifeless and scared. Something it hadn’t been in hundreds of years.  
“I’m here because you aren’t alone, you never have been.” Castiel’s voice was soft, final. Of course he’d never let his brother be alone, family is the most important thing anyone can keep close. The Winchesters had taught him that.


End file.
